Why didn’t somebody tell me when I was 18 to get a degree in education, and work summers at the Harvest Home Park swimming pool in Cheviot, so I could retire when I’m 49?

Oh yeah, I wanted to be a journalist and change the world.

How did that work out for you, genius?

Apparently not as well as it has worked out for Chris Brown. This is not meant to pick on Brown, the 49-year-old, soon-to-be retired superintendent of the Southwest Local School District, but he’s retiring at 49 with a tidy little pension and is about to start out on a brand new career as . . . superintendent of the Southwest Local School District.

I don’t think this is what our forefathers had in mind when they came up with the idea of a retirement system for teachers. Brown has been credited for his work as a college student for a municipal government to get him to his 30-year mark a few years earlier than originally planned.

Forty-nine is way too young to retire, and the market for young, energetic leadership for midsize school districts like Southwest apparently is a booming one, so the Southwest board of education chose to rehire Brown to his job after a one-month hiatus this summer, during which the old/new superintendent is forbidden from visiting his old/new office.

I don’t know what that restriction is all about and don’t really care, but I’m sure it will be enforced. As Mel Brooks said so eloquently in Blazing Saddles, “Harrumph, harrumph, harrumph.”

I’m sure there are people mad about this deal, but who should you be mad at? Brown? All he’s doing is taking advantage of a generous system that rewards someone for 30 years of hard work - in this case almost 30.

There was a time when working 30 years was a career of which to be proud. Retirees didn’t live to 80 or 90 years old, though.

There is no guarantee that Brown won’t get run over by the noon train on State Street sometime during his one-month break, but if you look at the guy and study actuarial tables, I’d guess he’s going to be receiving a pension check for at least as many years as he’s worked.

That’s the heart of the problem and it’s one that needs to be examined closely by people of higher importance than the Southwest board of education.

Faced with their alternatives, the board chose not to let someone go whom they brought up through the ranks. They are garnering the rewards of nurturing a teacher, coach, and administrator.

Would they do that for a teacher? Probably not. It does ring a little hypocritical, but the bosses always seem to get the sweeter deals, don’t they?

Am I jealous? You better believe it. And I bet a lot of you are, too. That doesn’t make it wrong, though.

Have a happy retirement month, Mr. Superintendent, and stay away from the office.

Bob Hyle covers sports and writes a weekly column for The Harrison Press. He resides in Bright.